Episode 10 of the “Ask a Question” Show:

FAQs about Narcissists

In this episode, Michael asks, “how do I move on when I believe I know what made my former partner a Narcissist?”

I give my response, and I hope that you’ll give yours too in the comments down below. Let’s see if together we can help shed some light on this for Michael. 🙂

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, doctor, attorney, or expert in Narcissism…or anything at all really. If anything, I am a student of life, love, behavior and behavior change.

My experience and input comes from being a former advocate of victims of domestic violence, a former victim of Narcissistic abuse, and from (currently) being a psychiatric nurse.

* I am moving away from using the term “Narcissist” as I find it only seems to add a tremendous amount of confusion to things–not to mention there’s a very solid chance the word will be removed from the DSM here in the near future. Instead, I want people to focus on what matters, and that is the behaviors of people that I’m now referring to as “manipulative, dangerous and destructive people”.

I’m on a personal mission to share all my lessons learned from highly manipulative, dangerous, and destructive people in order to help YOU get all the clarity, closure, and healing you need in order to avoid, and recover from, these kinds of people.

Remember: You are not crazy. You are not alone. And yes, you really can heal from this.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Frustrations? Ideas? Need some support? Just want to say hi? Let me know!

dana@NarcissistSupport.com

Get Support: www.NarcissistSupport.com/forum

Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Narcissist-Support/864636096909000

All manipulative people have about the same predictably unpredictable behavior. The good news is that they all come with the same set of red flags.

Learn the red flags and empower yourself with the knowledge you need to help you steer clear of toxic people: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcjFWuvIFFzJr5eXvb4rG_F-68lw4TK4T

Follow Me

Dana

I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse.

My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.

Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.

It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
Follow Me

Confused? This Book Can Help.

Out of the FOG
About Dana 347 Articles
I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse. My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life. Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics. It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.

1 Comment

  1. Oh, my gosh, this is my first comment on your website. I am so grateful to have stumbled upon your videos, and now your site. There are a few of you victim-turned-thriving-transformational “coaches” (I’ll call it that) out on the tube that have been the key to “coming out of the fog” as your book title so aptly describes. I have so much I have been battling with, but, the funny thing, and I know this will not be my last communication with you, is that I was put onto the MeetUp App to try out and so, reluctantly, as part of my recovery from complete isolation, escaping my husband (my Narc and his Narc teens), and embarking on a complete program of sobriety (another program, sober from all things I’ve used to fill the void, hide my pain, and escape life; and people don’t realize this can include love and people too), I signed up and made a profile.
    My husband moved his new-not-new woman in, and my step-daughter walked me in to see them naked in the shower with each other, smiling at me and telling me that he was along, then was so angry when a higher power (had to be a God thing because it wasn’t my strength or will) put a smile on my face as I saw him washing her feet, in the vulnerable loving way, that was one of the last things I thought told me he really loved me. God, or some thing bigger than little me, said “So, now’s not a good time to get my things?” Ha! Yeah! Really! And, he threw open the door, in all his glory for me to see them, yelling to get out of his house, “whore”. And, as I turned with that smile and chuckled, walking out toward my step-daughter’s awe-struck face, she grabbed me (all of 16, yes, she was part of my abuse) and yelled “No!”, wouldn’t let go; it was my turn to be confused, asking her why she was doing this. She just persisted with yelling No’s until I yanked free. By then her Dad was behind me in a towel calling me a “whore” and telling me to get out of HIS house. Mind you this was only a couple months after leaving, and I had yet to get any of my belongings.
    I realized later, that my step-daughter had walked me up there with such a big smile and excitement and was angry because she had not gotten my destruction. You see, she and her brother and her father had lied to police, the police that I eventually stopped calling for help, and I was arrested. The charges are being dismissed. But, they have latched onto my kids, and have gaslit them.
    So, while he is being sexed-up, catered-to, is pilled-up, and liquored-up, and held-up to in everyone’s esteem, I am standing on my own two feet, more sober than I’ve ever been and really trying to grow-up. I’m facing my fears, and doing things that are uncomfortable, and looking at every angle of the mirror and doing an inventory of myself that goes as far back as I can remember. But, I’m no longer taking anyone else’s damaged goods for my own.
    So, I tried MeetUp and I tried Volleyball; completely scared out of my mind because I my self-esteem had been shredded to nothing. I was going from total physical inactivity and my mind kept replaying tapes that I was fat and ugly and no longer socially acceptable (I used to be the social butterfly). I did it though. It felt great. I tried to leave before I had a chance to fail; but, the kind strangers encouraged me, and, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a very long time…pride in myself.
    Then a couple weeks later, I showed up again, to try again, more afraid, not as excited. But, I got warm to it, and my brain forgot it was in this old body, and I went down hard as I tore my achilles tendon. Ha, I knew I had done it, 7 years before with my husband, flag football, I knew what it was. But, I didn’t cry, it didn’t hurt…not until I thought of him.
    I am struggling, partly because I started to empathize with my Narc. I went down the rabbit hole and talked to him. I let him tell me he missed me with the soft tone that told me she was probably not around, and then I allowed myself to be torn down and berated by his exaggerated lies about myself. And, he’s like a vampire that sucks the life out of me, but more…leaves me with a poison after the bite.
    The Puppy with Rabbie’s is so VERY useful. And you are so absolutely right, that it doesn’t matter about “then”, but about “now”. I’ve been told by a good friend that you can get stuck in the “why” of things, when most times the answer just really does not matter.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.