Episode 18 of the “Ask a Question” Show: How do Narcissists Manipulate So Well?

FAQs about Narcissists

 

In this episode, Jesse asks, “How do Narcissists manipulate so Well? I keep getting caught up with these people and I don’t realize it until it’s too late. Help!”

Here is the acronym that I mention in the video, as to how manipulative people manipulate so well:
I: Isolation (love bombing, controlling finances, moving their target away from friends and family)
C: Charm
H: Hope
I: Intimidation
V: Violence
E: Emotion (pity, guilt, love)

I give my two cents, and I hope that you’ll give yours too in the comments down below. Let’s see if together we can help shed some light on this for Jesse. 🙂

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, doctor, attorney, or expert in Narcissism…or anything at all really. If anything, I am a student of life, love, behavior and behavior change.

My experience and input comes from being a former advocate of victims of domestic violence, a former victim of Narcissistic abuse, and from (currently) being a psychiatric nurse.

* I am moving away from using the term “Narcissist” as I find it only seems to add a tremendous amount of confusion to things–not to mention there’s a very solid chance the word will be removed from the DSM here in the near future. Instead, I want people to focus on what matters, and that is the behaviors of people that I’m now referring to as “manipulative, dangerous and destructive people”.

I’m on a personal mission to share all my lessons learned from highly manipulative, dangerous, and destructive people in order to help YOU get all the clarity, closure, and healing you need in order to avoid, and recover from, these kinds of people.

Remember: You are not crazy. You are not alone. And yes, you really can heal from this.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Frustrations? Ideas? Need some support? Just want to say hi? Let me know!

Get Support: www.NarcissistSupport.com/forum

Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Narcissist-Support/864636096909000

All manipulative people have about the same predictably unpredictable behavior. The good news is that they all come with the same set of red flags.

Learn the red flags and empower yourself with the knowledge you need to help you steer clear of toxic people.

Follow Me

Dana

I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse.

My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.

Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.

It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
Follow Me

Must Read: Psychopath Free

psychopath free
About Dana 306 Articles
I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse. My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life. Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics. It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.

5 Comments

  1. I found (and heard others also experienced this) that during the ‘get to know you’ phase, he ‘mirrored’ my likes / dislikes, goals, dreams, personality traits to reel me in. It was not who he really was but the ‘person’ he thought I would fall in love with that he pretended to be. I do realize that he moved quickly in the relationship, seemingly because he wanted to make sure I didn’t see the real him before he had me snagged. So I would warn that it is very likely you will not see the real person until much time has elapsed so if things seem to move quickly, that may one big warning sign that things are not as they appear. (Oh, and he always would state to me and others in my earshot that the reason it was so quickly that we connected was because we were so similar, meant to be, like we had always known each other, etc… Really tho I was falling in love with a mirror copy of myself not a real personality.)

  2. Thanks Dana. Some great points here, as always. I think our toxic partners are experts as to exactly what form of manipulation will work with each one of us.
    Jesse, don’t beat yourself up that you don’t get wise to the manipulation until afterwards. These people can be so subtle and they know our weak points, our cracks…..My toxic partner (now my ex!) often used the guilt trip on me. When I didn’t do what he wanted me to do for him, he would turn it round and say, “Huh! Well, if you had asked me to do such and such, I would have done it for you”. I wasn’t allowed to say NO, he was very controlling. He knew I was a very helpful, caring person who had a hard time saying no and wanted to be helpful (he used this characterisic…my “weakness”) Recently, he asked me for a favour and he expected me to say “Oh yes of course”…but I said “No I am sorry, I have other plans” He threw a fit and did the guilt trip thing. I was feeling strong and said “Do you know, when my friends ask me for a favour and I cant help them, they respect that, and don’t get nasty!” So in summary – to get an idea of how he is manipulating you, watch how he reacts when you DO NOT do what he is trying to manipulate you into doing…! By manipulating you, he is trying to get his own way and/or to get you to do something or not do something. Hold your ground…and just watch! Hugs to you

  3. PS Just want to add that manipulation is all about CONTROL…trying to control OUR behaviour to meet the toxic partner’s needs and desires.

  4. Yes–thank you for clarifying that! Manipulative behavior is the foundation of psychological abuse–and ALL forms of abuse involve a person’s power and control being taken away from them without their consent.

  5. Thanks for your marvelous posting! I seriously enjoyed reading it, you could be a great author.I will always
    bookmark your blog and definitely will come back from now on. I want to encourage you to ultimately continue your great posts, have a nice
    afternoon!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.