Episode 28 of the “Ask a Question” Show: How Do I Divorce a Narcissist?

FAQs about Narcissists

In this episode Brian asks, “How Do I Divorce a Narcissist?”

I give my response, and I hope that you’ll give yours too in the comments down below. Let’s see if we can help Brian move forward and heal. 🙂

Elements of a Safety Plan: http://www.thriveafterabuse.com/develop-a-safety-plan/

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, doctor, attorney, or expert in Narcissism…or anything at all really. If anything, I am a student of life, love, behavior and behavior change.

 

Professionally, I worked as an advocated for victims of domestic violence at a domestic violence shelter, and currently I am a psychiatric nurse. Personally, I have been through two relationships with Narcissists, and have been able to not only survive those, but have been able to move forward and thrive.

 

My goal with these videos is to share all of my lessons learned, as well as to start many important conversations about abuse, and recovery with the hopes that together we can provide the clarity, closure, and healing that we all deserve.

 

Remember: You are not crazy.  You are not alone. And yes, you really can heal from this.

 

Get Support: www.NarcissistSupport.com/forum

 

* This is an “open” group, meaning that anyone can see what you are posting, however, you can choose your own screen name and have total privacy that way.

 

Support Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HealingAfterNarcissisticAbuse

 

*This is a “closed” group, meaning that your Facebook friends can see that you are in the group, but they CAN’T see what you are posting (although it looks like they can, as you can see the chat on your timeline–but they really can’t so don’t panic.)

 

Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Narcissist-Support/864636096909000

 

 

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Dana

I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse.

My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.

Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.

It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
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About Dana 308 Articles
I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse. My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life. Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics. It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.

8 Comments

  1. Thank You. I needed to see that video that you made for Brian and I know now that ( She ) was the crazy maker and that she was the Crazy One in our Marriage who hated me because I wouldn’t allow her to dominate and control me and she was the one who was out to break my heart and who was out to destroy me all along. Thank God That I Had The Sense Enough To Dovorce Her And Shut Her Out Of My Life Forever.

  2. My advice to Brian is this… If she is either a Psychopath or a Sociopath or a Malignant Narcissist like my ex-wife is one of these… ( Then Be Very Careful… Because Your Life Could Be In Danger ) And if she is vengeful and revengeful and Consumed with Bitterness and Hate and is impossible to communicate with because she is so selfish and self-centered and if she is an angry, bitter woman who wants to make you angry and who wants to break your heart and who wants to hurt you and who wants to destroy you… then be very careful she doesn’t try to either kill you or have you killed or murdered. My ex-wife wanted to destroy me and she wanted to murder me because I walked out on her and because I divorced her. She Wanted Revenge. So Protect Yourself From Her Violent Temper & Wrath By Getting Yourself A Good Attorney… A Female Attorney Who Has Experience In Dealing With Emotionally Manipulative Women Who Are Either A Psychopath or a Sociopath or a Malignant Narcissist Who Thinks That They Can Dominate & Control A Man With Manipulative Mind Games And Guilt Trips And With Lies And Deceit And Threats. Good Luck With Your Divorce & GOD Be With You And Protect You From This Woman And GOD Bless.

  3. P.S. Thank You DANA For Your Blog. And For Your Website And For All That You Have Done To Help Me Along With Countless Others To Heal From The Mental Abuse & Emotional Abuse That Was Places On Us By These Sick Minded, Sadistic, Crazy Making Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Malignant Narcissists And What I Like To Refer As C

  4. CRAZY MAKERS. That’s what these Psychopaths & Sociopaths & Malignant Narcissist’s Are… They are CRAZY and they are sick in the head and ( there minds are sick and twisted ) and they are CRAZY MAKERS and if your foolish enough to believe in their lies and deceit and believe that they love you… they will make you violent and crazy just like them. Do Yourself A Favor And Shut That Toxic Abuser Out Of Your Life Forever And Don’t Allow That Crazy Maker To Ever Speak To You Again… Not One Word, Not Ever. For The Sake Of Your Own Mental Health And For The Sake Of Your Own Sanity… Choose To Go: NO CONTACT. For How Long? FOREVER. And Let Your Mental Health & Emotional Healing Begin. That’s All I Have To Post On This Subject Today And GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU GOOD PEOPLE OUT THERE… Expecially You DANA. To Me, Your An Angel Sent Into This World From Heaven and GOD Has A Lot Of Good Things In Store For You Dana And GOD Has A Special Place For You In Heaven. Good Bye My Friend And GOD BLESS YOU.

  5. Thank you so much for saying such nice things–that really made my day! …If there is an upside to going through Narcissistic abuse, I have to say that it’s meeting so many other wonderful, compassionate, caring people/victims–just like the ones we always hoped we’d meet and get to know, but could never find. There are so many good people out there, there really are. You are not alone. (((BIG HUGS))) to you my friend. I wish you all the best in this next chapter of your life, and hope that it is filled with health, healing, and happiness.

  6. In leaving and divorcing a narcissist; One thing I would do differently: Instead of leaving a note, seeing as no matter what you say in that note will not be accepted/understood by the Narcissist, do all the above as advised, but time it with your lawyer so the Narc gets served with divorce papers the very day, of following day that you leave. And for heaven’s sake, make sure you have funds saved up…some way!….for legal council!

    My experience, as an Immigrant with under 5 years residency in the USA…There is no help for me because I am an “Unqualified Migrant”. All I could get was a couple of office visits with a Pro Bono Lawyer from Legal Aid. So off I went, with nothing to trust in, in getting through my divorce(not over yet) except my trust in God and 200% honesty on my part in Court. So me alone in the Court Room with the Judge, my Narc husband who spoke not one single word of truth in the entire process,and his trusting female Lawyer, and I got mowed down! I gave my reasons for wanting the divorce because of Constructive Desertion and Extreme Cruelty, but, being an Immigrant and not knowing half of the divorce procedure laws,he filed before me so I became the “defendant”…and yes!, it does make a big difference who files first!…Mr Narc filed for divorce on grounds of Abandonment with No Just Cause, and proceeded to gather pity and sympathy, and succeeded, after all, he is a former Government Employee (IRS)! In spite of him having twice my income, and having signed an Affidavit of support with USCIS to support me with at least 125% poverty level, the Judge denied me spousal support. The only favor this Judge did me was to keep my address confidential.

    The judge knew I was disabled, with Parkinson’s and chronic pain 24/7, brain damage and whiplash, and he knew of that my family had been supplying financial support to me from over seas because without, I could not stay in my apartment, and he knew of the above mentioned contract my husband has with USCIS and that he has twice my income…and I am speaking of disposable income here!

    So here I am at this very time, applying for Citizenship as advised by USCIS, so I can get more help, without enough funds to rent any home at all on the small Disability Pension I receive from my country of origin, and have even spent some nights in my car with the dog at truck stops, and getting my meals at a center for homeless.

    I made an agreement to settle the divorce no-fault and no demands from either of us to each other, because I saw clearly that this Judge and Court are a lost cause for me getting any help or justice for 3+ years of domestic abuse, and just to get it over and done with…..just waiting a little while with the final signature! I played his game and told him I wanted to leave the country to be with my family, and seeing as he wants me gone; out of the country, he agreed. (I left my apartment since my family had no more funds to help me, packed my car with what I could fit into it, left everything I owned to friends and drove of with my dog, simply with the goal of staying alive and finding a safest possible place to be since I knew that my address confidentiality would be lifted.) But that is not really what I want and am doing, and unless he reads this, he will get the shock of his miserable Narc life when USCIS review all the information I have supplied them with, and hit him like a ton of bricks…I pray! And of course; I am prepared for, that it all blows up in my face, for sure. But he cannot get to me or hurt me where I am at this time, because if he could I have no doubt that he would take steps to end my existence. Just trying to survive here, and after all, I have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, …right!?

    If anything I have written here can help anyone at all in any good way, it is worth the chance taken that my Narc reads this, but knowing his all encompassing belief that he is above and beyond all others, he wont bother even looking places like this.

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