Trauma bonding, a term developed by Patrick Carnes, is the misuse of fear, excitement, sexual feelings, and sexual physiology to entangle another person.
Trauma bonds can prime a person to confuse intensity with sincerity. Bad times bond people as strongly as good times…perhaps even more so.
People that are in abusive relationships tend to hang in there until they can’t hang in there anymore (or they are discarded)–and in part this is thought to be due to trauma bonds.
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological condition that causes hostages to develop sympathetic sentiments towards their captors, often sharing their opinions and acquiring romantic feelings for them as a survival strategy during captivity. These feelings, resulting from a bond formed between captor and captives during intimate time spent together, are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims. Generally speaking, Stockholm syndrome consists of “strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.”
Keep in mind that the only sincere apology is changed behavior–anything else is either them deluding themselves or manipulating you (or a combination of both).
From the full livestream October 19th 2016
Do you have a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath in your life, or think that you might? Are you in (or recently out of) of a relationship that you can only describe as crazy making, toxic, or like a lifetime TV movie? Then you are in the right place.
The live streams are a time where we “meet” every Wednesday at 8:30pm EST to ask questions, and give answers and support. I give my two cents, as do many of the other people in the chat. If you can’t make it to the live stream, you can email me your question at: DearDana@ThriveAfterAbuse.com I get a lot of questions, but I do my best to bring up and answer as many of them as I can each week. 🙂
To get support: www.ThriveAfterAbuse.com/forum
* This is an “open” group, meaning that anyone can see what you are posting, however, you can choose your own screen name and have total privacy that way.
Support Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HealingAfterNarcissisticAbuse/
*This is a “closed” group, meaning that your Facebook friends can see that you are in the group, but they CAN’T see what you are posting (although it looks like they can, as you can see the chat on your timeline–but they really can’t so don’t panic.)
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/ThriveAfterAbuse
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, doctor, attorney, or expert in Narcissism…or anything at all really. If anything, I am a student of life, love, behavior and behavior change, and a woman who is dedicated to thriving.
Professionally, I worked as an advocate for victims of domestic violence at a domestic violence shelter, and currently I am a psychiatric nurse. Personally, I have been through two relationships with narcissists, and have been able to not only survive those, but have been able to move forward and thrive.
My goal with these videos is to share all of my lessons learned, as well as to start many important conversations about abuse, and recovery with the hopes that together we can provide the clarity, closure, and healing that we all deserve.
Remember: You are not crazy. You are not alone. And yes, you really can heal from this.
My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.
Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.
It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
Latest posts by Dana (see all)
- Episode 55: How Do I Stop My Addiction to the Narcissist? - August 23, 2017
- Episode 53: Strategies to Help Prevent Your Child from Being Manipulated by a Narcissistic Parent - August 21, 2017
- Episode 54: How can we handle victim blaming and revictimization? - August 18, 2017