Episode 59: How Do I Get Over the Fantasy Love Bombing and Date a Boring Guy?

Dana Morningstar

Lots of people (myself included) have gotten stuck with trying to navigate dating after narcissitic abuse. They may have heard the advice of “date a boring guy (or gal).” But the reality is that the opposite of a charming, intense, love bomber isn’t a boring person, it’s a likable, sincere, caring person that likes you for you. It takes time and practice to sort out a sincere person from an insincere person, and the best way to do this is to take things slowly so you can see who they really are. It’s a lot easier to see things clearly when we don’t have a deep emotional investment in someone, and falling for someone right out of the gate is a problem for those very reasons. You’ve heard me mention the website before, and frankly, I can’t mention it enough because I’m such a huge fan of it, but checkout meetup.com. It’s not a dating site, and many groups are free and many activities are low cost. It can be a great way to meet new people based on the same types of things that you enjoy doing. 🙂

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Dana

I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse.

My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.

Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.

It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
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About Dana 322 Articles

I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse.

My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.

Even though I have had a lot of “in the trenches” experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.

It’s for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.

2 Comments

  1. I support joining meetup.com 100%. It is what I did 5 years ago, right after being discarded by my covert narcissist spouse of 22 years. I met quite a few nice persons, male and female.
    The problem with me is that, while I avoid the overt narcs that show interest in me like the plague, I also avoid those that present themselves like my spouse did: caring, shy, quiet, introvert. I haven’t met anyone ‘in the middle’ yet.

  2. It takes some doing to meet more of the “normal/healthy” people. It took me a few false starts with some problematic people before I was able to identify those patterns too. 🙂

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