Episode 65: Am I seeing red flags or am I just being hypervigilant?

Dana Morningstar

After an a narcissistic relationship, it’s common for many people to be afraid of being hurt like that again. Not to mention many people are struggling with PTSD or PTSD type symptoms and are feeling hypervigilant and distrusting. And so when they do start dating again, they tend to spiral into self-doubt when they start to experience red flags. This self-doubt can send them into tremendous amounts of confusion and mental anguish, wondering if what they are experiencing is indeed problematic or if they are making a big deal out of nothing. And then, in an attempt to gain clarity, they start asking friends, family, or coworkers their opinions about what’s going on.

I’ve been there too, and let me just stop you for a second.

When we start experiencing confusion like that from someone’s behavior, it’s not confusion, it’s cognitive dissonance and denial that results from it.

The realirty is that you most likely aren’t confused. What’s going on is that you are seeing something problematic but wish you weren’t. That’s what denial is. And the more you try to supress it, the more confusion and mental anguish will result. Only problematic behavior makes us feel this way. I know it’s hard to trust your judgment and your perception of things, but please know the reason you feel so “crazy” is because you are waking up and starting to see things clearly…perhaps for the first time ever.

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Dana

I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse.

My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.

Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.

It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
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About Dana 322 Articles

I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse.

My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.

Even though I have had a lot of “in the trenches” experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.

It’s for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.

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