* I have two articles left to write and add in order to make this page complete. Due to both the number (and urgency) of questions I’ve been getting, I felt I needed to post this ASAP. I will be finishing up this post in the next few days.
Knowledge really is power, especially when it comes to understanding Narcissists, their behavior, how to avoid them, and how to heal. There’s a lot of information on my blog, and I’m feverishly adding to it on a regular basis. I’m also working on trying to figure out the most beneficial way to organize the info, so if you have ideas, please let me know!
Here are some links to what I believe to be the most important information that will a huge difference in your life right now:
1. Realize that there are different types of Narcissists.
Each type has different defining characteristics–it makes it easier to spot them if you know the different ways they can come across, and the different ways they manipulate. Learn about them here: The different types of Narcissists
2. How to Avoid a Relationship with a Narcissist.
3. How to protect yourself starting today.
4. Learn the red flags of a Narcissist.
5. Know the terminology.
There are specific words that are used to describe an experience with a Narcissist. I highly recommend you read the list, as these words will really help you to describe to yourself (and others) what you went through.
6. Read the top 10 FAQs.
Here’s a condensed list of some of the top frequently asked questions. I think reading these will also help.
7. Cycle of a Narcissistic relationship.
(article coming soon!)
8. Know what to expect.
Narcissists can be both very persistent and convincing–especially between the discard and idealization stage–when they are trying to get you back (aka suck you back in). At a minimum (from them–flying monkeys, hoovering, smear campaign, and emotionally)
– flying monkeys (the article)
– flying monkeys (the YouTube video)
– love bombing (in the “Red Flags of a Narcissist” series)
– rushing intimacy (in the “Red Flags of a Narcissist” series)
– public image (in the “Red Flags of a Narcissist” series)
– 6 common manipulations of a Narcissist (YouTube Video)
9. Tips on how to heal.
After a relationship with a Narcissist ends, it is usually very traumatic. It’s common for victims to have a wide mix of emotions ranging from fear, grief, sadness, intense “cravings” for their partner, and sometimes joy and relief. Night terrors, anxiety, depression, paranoia/distrust of others, loss of sleep/too much sleep, wanting to isolate, feeling bad about yourself/ wondering what you “did wrong”, is all normal, and understandable, as these people are highly manipulative, and like to bring their victims to the highest highs, and then drop them down to the lowest lows. It is important that you cut off contact if you feel safe to do so. Anticipate “hoovering” during the first month to first year after the relationship ends. During hoovering they will most likely use a combination of love bombing, rushing intimacy, and charm, coupled with their excuses and lies to suck you back in. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. Everything out of their mouth is a lie. If you aren’t sure about what is going on, or would like to vent/need some feedback, please consider joining my support group on Facebook.
My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.
Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.
It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
Latest posts by Dana (see all)
- Episode 93: Live Stream 11/1/17 - November 20, 2017
- Top 10 Takeaways from “Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship” by Adelyn Birch - November 18, 2017
- Episode 92: Live Stream 11/7/17 - November 17, 2017