It’s not uncommon for Narcissists to have fragmented relationships with people who would know them the best (parents, siblings). People that have generally known the Narcissist for any length of time, tend to cut off contact. They are sick and tired of being manipulated, lied to, cheated on, or stolen from. To listen to the Narcissist tell it, they are the victim. Their sister that they haven’t talked to in ten years—well, it’s because they were tired of financially supporting her, and put their foot down, and she cut off contact with them (which most likely happened the other way around). Their father doesn’t talk to them over a misunderstanding. Their cousin is crazy/bipolar/addict and is a compulsive liar. Their son is a Narcissist and they had to cut off contact with them. It’s also interesting to note that Narcissists project their behavior onto other people. So if they are telling you they aren’t talking to their brother because he’s a liar and an alcoholic, odds are it’s the Narcissist that has these issues. If there is cut off contact with any members of their close family, it’s worth digging deeper.
(Here is a link to all of the “Red Flags of a Narcissist” series articles and videos in a list. I will be putting this link at the bottom of all the articles and videos so you can refer back to them in an easier-to-find way.)
This “Red Flag of a Narcissist” series is not designed to diagnose anyone with a personality disorder. It is designed to present a broad brush look at behaviors that most (if not all) manipulative people tend to have (not just Narcissists). Not all of these red flags are a signal to run for the hills, and a person doesn’t need to have ALL of these flags present to be dangerous or destructive.
These red flags also occur on a spectrum, meaning that they will be more obvious and troublesome in some people, and not so much in others.
At the same time, keep in mind that EVERYONE has some of these red flags—however, manipulative people tend to have them to a more troubling degree than normal, non-manipulative people. Keep in mind that Narcissists and Antisocial Personality Disordered people’s red flag behavior is more driven by their lack empathy and remorse, desire to manipulate and exploit other people for their personal gain, which is often not the case with those without these disorders. So don’t panic if you see some of your behavior in these red flags, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a Narcissist, or have a personality disorder. 🙂
My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.
Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.
It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
Latest posts by Dana (see all)
- Episode 55: How Do I Stop My Addiction to the Narcissist? - August 23, 2017
- Episode 53: Strategies to Help Prevent Your Child from Being Manipulated by a Narcissistic Parent - August 21, 2017
- Episode 54: How can we handle victim blaming and revictimization? - August 18, 2017