Narcissists are selfish, impulsive and reckless in all areas of their lives. They think of no one but themselves, and the most concrete example of this is seen with their finances. They are often involved in schemes and frauds of all kinds ranging from illegal business dealings to flat out schemes. Bankruptcy, terrible credit scores, impulsive and poor business decisions, deep credit card debt, bounced checks, and high rate loans for things they don’t need (21% interest rate on a BMW loan for example) are usually on their financial record. Of course they have a great reason for all of this–it was someone else’s fault, medical bills, a crazy ex, etc.
Their lack of funds often show up as them being a bad or nonexistent tipper (after taking you to a nice restaurant), getting half a tank of gas, or being cash only pretty much everywhere in town. If they happen to have a decent paying job, they might have tax liens, be getting their taxes garnished for bills they told you they were paying, or other forms of poor financial management. In addition, Narcissists are known for living a parasitic existence. There is a solid chance that they’ve quit, or have been fired from their job shortly after moving in with their victim. If they are able to hold a job, the victim soon notices that they seem to be paying for a lot of things, not the Narcissists–even if the Narcissist has money.
(Here is a link to all of the “Red Flags of a Narcissist” series articles and videos in a list. I will be putting this link at the bottom of all the articles and videos so you can refer back to them in an easier-to-find way.)
This “Red Flag of a Narcissist” series is not designed to diagnose anyone with a personality disorder. It is designed to present a broad brush look at behaviors that most (if not all) manipulative people tend to have (not just Narcissists). Not all of these red flags are a signal to run for the hills, and a person doesn’t need to have ALL of these flags present to be dangerous or destructive.
These red flags also occur on a spectrum, meaning that they will be more obvious and troublesome in some people, and not so much in others.
At the same time, keep in mind that EVERYONE has some of these red flags—however, manipulative people tend to have them to a more troubling degree than normal, non-manipulative people. Keep in mind that Narcissists and Antisocial Personality Disordered people’s red flag behavior is more driven by their lack empathy and remorse, desire to manipulate and exploit other people for their personal gain, which is often not the case with those without these disorders. So don’t panic if you see some of your behavior in these red flags, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a Narcissist, or have a personality disorder. 🙂
My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.
Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.
It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
Latest posts by Dana (see all)
- Episode 43: Live Stream June 28, 2017 - July 26, 2017
- Episode 42: Book Club Discussion of “In Sheep’s Clothing” by George Simon - July 24, 2017
- Episode 40: What Does Healing Really Mean? - July 19, 2017