Both male and female Narcissists are notorious for having high sex drives, as well as for a preference for kinky or unusual sex. Their high sex drive often manifests as desiring sex on a daily basis (often times multiple times in a day), looking at porn excessively, frequenting strip/sex clubs (just to name a few).
Narcissists will often tell their victim they haven’t felt this sexual or aroused since they were a teenager, and that the victim makes them feel this way (not true—they are always this hyper sexual, until they turn it “off” which is a means of control that comes later). Their preoccupation with porn might consume hours everyday, and they may text and email porn to their friends or coworkers. Strip clubs, sex clubs, swinging, BDSM, taking nude pictures, wanting to see nude pictures of the victim, wanting others to watch them have sex, and/or wanting their partners to do things sexually that are often times viewed by the victim as degrading, humiliating or otherwise uncomfortable with is common.
Many victims tend to find out about Narcissism after they discover their partner is cheating (again). They often wonder if perhaps their partner is a sex addict, and in the search for those answers come across the term “Narcissist”. In fact, many sex addicts (and addicts/alcoholics in general) are Narcissists–it is estimated by the American Psychiatric Association that around 80% of all addicts/alcoholics are Narcissists. Serial cheating is another big sign of a Narcissist (but that is generally seen until much further down the road). Narcissists are impulsive and reckless, and they are no different in their sex life. Casual, and often unprotected sex with multiple partners is common, as are multiple pregnancies with multiple women, STDs or not getting tested for STDs.
(Here is a link to all of the “Red Flags of a Narcissist” series articles and videos in a list. I will be putting this link at the bottom of all the articles and videos so you can refer back to them in an easier-to-find way.)
This “Red Flag of a Narcissist” series is not designed to diagnose anyone with a personality disorder. It is designed to present a broad brush look at behaviors that most (if not all) manipulative people tend to have (not just Narcissists). Not all of these red flags are a signal to run for the hills, and a person doesn’t need to have ALL of these flags present to be dangerous or destructive.
These red flags also occur on a spectrum, meaning that they will be more obvious and troublesome in some people, and not so much in others.
At the same time, keep in mind that EVERYONE has some of these red flags—however, manipulative people tend to have them to a more troubling degree than normal, non-manipulative people. Keep in mind that Narcissists and Antisocial Personality Disordered people’s red flag behavior is more driven by their lack empathy and remorse, desire to manipulate and exploit other people for their personal gain, which is often not the case with those without these disorders. So don’t panic if you see some of your behavior in these red flags, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a Narcissist, or have a personality disorder. 🙂
My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.
Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.
It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
Latest posts by Dana (see all)
- Episode 55: How Do I Stop My Addiction to the Narcissist? - August 23, 2017
- Episode 53: Strategies to Help Prevent Your Child from Being Manipulated by a Narcissistic Parent - August 21, 2017
- Episode 54: How can we handle victim blaming and revictimization? - August 18, 2017