Red Flag of a Narcissist #22: Questionable Sexual Behavior

questionable sexual behavior

Sex clubs, strip clubs, three-somes, bi-sexuality, cross-dressing, flirting, sexting, BDSM, cheating, porn, hitting on friends or family of their target, or otherwise hyper-sexual behavior seems to be pretty normal behavior for most manipulative people.

My guess is this is because they tend to make their decisions based on what they want, and what feels good in the moment. That is what really drives a vast majority of their behavior. Not all manipulative people are hyper-sexed, but it seems based on the 1000’s of stories I’ve heard, that the vast majority of them are.  It’s not uncommon for manipulative people to claim one thing and then do another (like with everything else that they do).

Out-of-the-ordinary, or otherwise seemingly bizarre sexual behavior is normal for them–of course, they often won’t admit to this–or if they do, what they are admitting to is only the tip of the iceberg.

*I am not implying that all of the above behavior is bad or wrong–what two consenting adults is up to them, as long as long as their actions are known by those who should know–and as long as the behavior isn’t causing emotional harm.

 

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Dana

I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse.

My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.

Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.

It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
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About Dana 252 Articles
I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse. My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life. Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics. It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.

3 Comments

  1. is it possible that a narcissist can have the OPPOSITE problem? Low libido or in some cases will punish you with withdrawal of sex. I have heard from other victims that they have even slept in different bedrooms for weeks, months. The narcissist is infamous for punishing by denying attention, affection, etc couldn’t sex fall in this category? Anyway, that has been my experience at times I think they are so good at shutting down & compartmentalizing why should this variable be any different….

  2. Yes–there are extremes to this (and all other) behaviors/red flags. It’s not uncommon that the manipulative partner does any number of things to get what they want–including some combination of reward and punishment. It’s known as “grooming” behavior, in that they are shaping their partner into what they want them to be. Witholding sex, money, affection, attention, etc. followed by giving those same things is a way for that to happen. …There are different types of manipulative people out there. Some are more aware of (and consciously plan) their behaviors than others, however, both types still operate with an attitude of entitlement that they should get what they want.

  3. I completely suspected the sexual issues and porn addiction. When he was doing his crazy making / devaluation with me (and ignoring me sexually), I actually started checking Meet-up and dating sites to see if he was out there. I was very suspicious. He travels enough for work to make it possible. I still think he may have been meeting up. Finally found his online identity writing disgusting perverted things and chatting with confessed sex addicts. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me! Probably experiencing some PTSD as well. How could my “Mr. Perfect” be doing this! I’ll never know the full extent of what he was (and may still be) doing. I know he is a good liar and appears to have no remorse – just upset to have been caught. He can’t believe I was “smart enough” to catch him! Insulting! …and yes, I’ve heard similar comments about young ladies being attractive. Definitely something sexually broken with them. So disappointing that I finally gave in and married him after waiting for almost 8 years. I thought I knew him well enough by then. Within the first two years of marriage his mask started slipping big time.

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