Romantic or Red Flag of a Narcissist?

narcissist questions

 

Is it just me, or does this video really creep anyone else out? Here are my issues with it:

– He obviously wanted a video to go viral, and used what should have been a sincere and intimate moment (proposal) to do so.

– The video is all about HIM, and it’s exhaustingly long to watch.

– He pops this video proposal to her on her birthday, so it really takes all the attention away from her, and puts it on him, and how he’s the most romantic boyfriend ever.

– And in a weird way, it also kinda shows just how much he can get away with (literally) behind her back.

I dunno. Totally creeps me out. What are your thoughts?

Follow Me

Dana

I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse.

My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.

Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.

It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
Follow Me

Must Read: Psychopath Free

psychopath free
About Dana 254 Articles
I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse. My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life. Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics. It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.

17 Comments

  1. Totally creepy. I can’t believe all her friends and family went along with that shameless circus act. It would have been awesome if she had said “no!”

  2. ok, i’m with you about this video… 15 minutes of the ‘me’ show… if he ‘loves her more than the world’ why isn’t it about her, rather than himself, and why wait (and engage in this routine) for a whole year before the proposal? yes, creepy…

  3. 15min of his selfies for her birthday?! He’s saying how she’s reeeeeaaaally special, but in fact showing how he’s reeeeeaaaally special, omg she barely deserves him at the end! And yeah, don’t even walk up to her, let her walk to you, he almost waited for her to get down on her knees, in public of course on the beach.. yaks! The family cryyying buying into it! Oh god, hope she doesn’t end up poisoned one day and everyone sorry for him, the greatest guy walking on earth… They really have such expressionless faces. Even the ‘smile’ is the same grin on all 365 selfies. I could watch only 5min and the end 30s. She probably watches the whole thing 100x a day.

  4. “I came up with a brilliant idea” LMAO and his smile is so false…to be honest I watched the whole video just to see what happens in the end but I get so bored seeing HIS face whole time…so egocentric

  5. I think I lasted about 2 minutes on the video before I skipped to the end. I think I was shaking my head and rolling my eyes the whole time. lol

  6. The young woman looks like a defeated little deer while the family closes in on her and hug after the ridiculous proposal (smug look on mug of narc boyfriend’s face grrrr). Gosh that breaks my heart for her trapped like that. Guess it twigs some identification with it on my part. Conditioned learned behavior not to mention DNA. Be nice, believe in a just world, goodness triumphs all kinds of doctrines like that certainly have kept me subservient and self avoiding for most of my life. So yes I see that I do identify with that girl and her family missing all the cues. Knee jerk reaction should be…”run for the hills!”. 🙂

  7. That creepy flat smile.
    There’s a sure a lot “I’m’s” in his video.

    It totally creeps me out.

  8. In the beginning of this film I thought it was all about her – Boy, was I wrong – Fast Forwarded to the end after “10 days”. So boring.

    All about him, on hér birthday … Every year form now on, she’ll have to hear how Great HIS proposal was …

    And indeed, HE should have walked up to HER

    Freaks me out too … It was almost impossible to say NO for this girl … This is not even LoveBombing – this was LoveWar

    I really hope I’m wrong, but looks predictable how this is gonna continue … in a Grand Finale. Problem is, for now, HER family is completely into HIM too. Poor girl …

    D (Belgium)

  9. Yes the video is all about him, not her. A romantic proposal is an intimate moment shared privately between two people, not posted publicly. This video seems manipulative, putting her in a position of being the bad person if she would say no. But to me personally it says something more. “The empty drum makes the most sound!” That is if a person is who they really are then there is no need to prove it so to anyone. Any person who would go to this extreme to prove who they are or express how they feel is doing so for a reason. Yet in the defense of men who legitimately fall in love, we often say and do some stupid things without realizing the impact that it has on others. There have been times I wanted to shout out my feelings to the whole world but I am glad that I had enough sense not to ever embarrass someone publicly. Perhaps, this video was posted after the fact with the woman’s permission. I hope that is the case.

  10. I’ve recently started to watch videos about narcissists because I find the psychology interesting.
    Watched a bunch of your red flags videos and just watched the video you post here of this guy proposing to his girlfriend.
    Now knowing about these types of people, I find this video extremely creepy. I can’t believe how everyone is falling for it in the comments and in the video itself too.
    It’s amazing how almost everyone is prone to believing such things.
    I’m generally not much of a fan of these crazy proposals, especially in public. I proposed to my wife privately at home on a very plain day. 🙂 A proposal should be intimate.
    Going all crazy like that and in public seems kinda odd and puts pressure on the other person. Would you identify such public crazy or proposals as a red flag? Not sure I would but I don’t know. If I was in the place of the woman, I’d be very uncomfortable. I’m kinda stunned by how much other women in the comments would want a guy to do this to them.

  11. I think a lot of this trend of lavish displays of public affection and proposals come from Hollywood. Many people confuse these grand actions as love–when they may or may not be driven by love. I think most people who are in a healthy relationship don’t need to let the world know. …I hope you are finding these videos interesting. I can only imagine what a person must think if they’ve never experienced this kind of behavior before!

  12. I was writing down flags as I was watching and I see that others saw them too. Right off the bat him saying his “brilliant” idea. SMH. Oh that’s right this is about you…but just so you know I’m brilliant! :-/ His smirk every day (though I couldn’t stomach to see the whole thing) was nauseating. Its all about him. I don’t see love for her in his eyes but love for himself.

    All of the (many) shots of him primping or without a shirt on seemed off to me. He was always so conscious of how he looked. Its as though you can see in his eyes how he’s wondering what people think of HIM. Oh, yeah its about her. I forgot.

    The one day of him yawning while he held the sign seemed to be a little ominous. Also his saying that she was perfect “in his eyes” or something like that. Seemed to be a form of a backhanded compliment. A narcissist can’t help but slip now and then and show his true feelings only you have to know what to look for…or rather you have to be willing to not make excuses when things are just “off”.

    I also felt this was a setup for her. With all these people standing around, some likely teary eyed at this “marvelous” man. Any flags or warnings get muffled through peer pressure. I believe a proposal should be a private matter. Maybe some women might see a public display as a positive thing, but after seeing how a narc operates I see these public displays more of a red flag than anything.

    I also feel sorry for this woman. I also agree that he has taken her birthday from her in a sense. It will no longer be her day, but their day or his day. When she can no longer live off the “high” of this display of himself (disguised as a display of love) she may likely be left with little to go on in the “relationship”. A narcissist has to live out fairy tales because there’s no reality to cling to. Grand gestures are a red flag to cover up a very possible underlying void. Bringing her family into it only solidifies her enmeshment with him. It will be difficult for her to go to her family for support if this is all they see of him. Granted I can’t be 100% sure of his true motives but I would not accept a proposal by a man who was this into himself.

  13. You know, until my last narc and his incredible love-bombing, future-faking brainwashing job, I would have thought that was soooo romantic and would have totally fallen for it. Now I would run screaming.

  14. I have noticed that these scenarios of big, flashy, public, ‘productions’ of proposals are universally about HIM. The bigger the ego, the bigger the production. It’s love bombing at its ‘finest’. How could she possibly say no, she’s been set up for his ego feed. There’s a bigger shark on the shore than in the water!

  15. Yup, plus it makes him look like this amazing guy to everyone else, so when the abuse does start, others have a hard time believing he could act that way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.




Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.