1. What is a Narcissist?

2. What made them a Narcissist and can they change?

3. I keep hearing all these different terms like “Flying Monkeys”, “Hoovering”, “Supply” and “Gray Rock”.  What do they mean?  Go here to read a list of words you need to know.

4. Why me? Did I attract them to me? 

5. How do I prevent running into another one?

6. They keep coming back promising things will be different.  Why are they doing this? It is really hard to fully end a relationship with a Narcissist. They rely on your hope and pity to take them back.  Anticipate “hoovering”.

7. How do I get support?  My friends think I just need to “get over it”, but I can’t.  Other people (family, friends, etc.) will probably not be able to relate to what you are going through unless they’ve been in a relationship with a Narcissist. How can I join a support group?

8. After all he’s done, why do I miss him?

9. How can I get away from them for good? He/she won’t leave me alone. 

10. How do I get away from them if I have kids or if they are members of my family?  (Go Gray Rock.)

11. I keep having nightmares, and panic attacks, and I feel like I can’t trust anyone.  What’s wrong with me? I feel like I’m broken beyond repair.  Will I ever feel better, or even get over this?

12.  How do I get closure?

4 Comments

  1. Hi Dina! How are u?

    question:

    Me and my girlfriend have been dating now for some months. More than five months now. We are both over 25 years. Things seem to go well. We are having fun most of the time. She is very charming and funny and outgoing. So I enjoy it very much.

    She told me she had a dream. That she had another boyfriend in the dream. Yes in the dream she had me and another boyfriend at the same time. And it was completely normal that she had two at the same time. In the dream I was upset and she did not understand why.

    Well this was just an strange dream she had. But should I bee worried? Could it have a meaning to the relationship or how she view the relationship?

  2. My two cents is that when people bring up dreams, they are using the dream to open up a conversation that they are uncomfortable having any other way. It’s true that she might have just had the dream, but it’s weird that she would tell you this knowing that it would (obviously) upset you.

    I can’t say if it means she’s necessarily cheating, but I think at a minimum it means that she’s got some questionable communication techniques going on–which to me would be a red flag, as it’s really hard to be in an open and honest relationship with someone who doesn’t have open and honest communication–for whatever reasons (deceit, or just not assertive communication).

    I’d open up the converdation with her and ask her if you should be worried, and what she thinks the dream means, and then go from there. 🙂

  3. Hi Dana I was the wife of a Narc for 3 years n thru it all he was a drug and perversion addict. We have a 2 year old n I also have a 9 year old both girls. He has been in jails, rehab and treatment most of our relationship so his last release he got worst, I know what I need to do I asked him to Lev, he did, I feel so much rejection I just need to get to the next phase. How do I move on is pain required? I know there has to be another supply bc he’s not hooveribg to cone back

  4. It’s understandable that you are in so much pain, but please try to remember that his behavior is not a reflection of you and your self-worth, it’s a reflection of him. Pain is a part of life, but suffering doesn’t have to be. You can decide right now that you have suffered enough and then take that pain and energy and put it into activities that make you feel good, like spending time with your children, or taking a hot bath, or otherwise doing something healing and nourishing for yourself.

    The support group can be a great resource too in all this: http://www.NarcissistSupport.com/forum

    (((hugs)))

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