YouTube Video on The Top 4 Reasons to NOT Take a Narcissist to Therapy

Masks of a Narcissist

Are you in a relationship with a person who is (or who you suspect to be) a Narcissist? Here’s what I believe are the top 4 reasons as to why you should never take a Narcissist to therapy!

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Dana

I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse.

My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life.

Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics.

It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.
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About Dana 306 Articles
I am a self-help junkie, former advocate for victims of domestic violence, current psychiatric RN, as well as being a recovering victim of Narcissistic abuse. My goal is to educate, empower, and inspire other abuse victims in understanding more about what happened to them (and how to prevent it from happening again), as well as how to go on and rebuild an amazing life. Even though I have had a lot of "in the trenches" experience with highly manipulative people of all kinds, I consider myself to be a student of Narcissism, mindset, motivation, healing, and life in general, and am by no means an expert on any of these topics. It's for these reasons, that when you are reading my information that I encourage you to hold to what helps, and let the rest go.

8 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for these videos..wish i read years ago. I am 3rd time No Contact with my Narc ex. Everything you explain is what i dealt with EXCEPT he did not want me for sex. We became close friends while walking our dogs so i thought I knew him well and trusted him. We did have one amazing sexual encounter but NEVER after that. What he did want and get from me was my adoration, money and support. I loaned him 24K to renovate a house…the minute i wrote the check i just KNEW it was wrong. Unfortunately I did not trust MYSELF! Jump ahead 4 years…and i finally got out..took 3 attempts but now it is over. I am left with NOTHING good from that relationship. He ruined my relationship with mo loved ones, he drained me financially and decimated my self esteem…i could go on and on. I am attractive, independent, successful and well-educated but even i fell for a Narc.
    I saw the red flags and decided to stay with him until he paid me back..which took two grueling years and during that time I was under his spell. So much so expected me to watch his dogs while he went on vacation (with his “Friend”). I said no and was so proud that i did. Little by little i caught on to him and finally i unveiled his mask. I am 100% sure he will never Hoover me again (he hoovered me a few times when i went NC) ..but this time he knows that I now know what he’s been doing for the past 3 years. Dana you are the ONLY one on the internet that really tells it like it REALLY is. I have been at every Narc site and read so many books on the subject. Thank you for being here for us. THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO : )

  2. Thank you so much for these videos..wish i read them years ago. I am 3rd time No Contact with my Narc ex. Everything you explain is what I dealt with EXCEPT he did not want me for sex. We became close friends while walking our dogs so I thought I knew him well and trusted him. We did have one amazing sexual encounter but NEVER after that. What he did want and get from me was my adoration, money and support. I loaned him 24K to renovate a house…the minute I wrote the check I KNEW it was wrong. Unfortunately I did not trust MYSELF! Jump ahead 4 years…and I finally got out..it took 3 attempts but now it is over. NOTHING good came from that relationship. He ruined my relationship with my father, he drained me financially and decimated my self esteem…I could go on and on. I am attractive, independent, successful and well-educated but even I fell for a Narc.
    I saw the red flags and decided to stay with him until he paid me back..which took two grueling years but during that time I was under his spell. Little by little I caught on to him and finally i unveiled his mask. I am 100% sure he will never Hoover me again (he hoovered me a few times when i went NC) ..but this time he knows that I now know what he’s been doing for the past 3 years. Dana you are the ONLY one on the internet that tells it like it REALLY is. I have been at every Narc site and read so many books on the subject. Thank you for being here for us. THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO : )

  3. Hi Dana !
    I am an Indian ; 67 years old and a father of a daughter 39 years and a son 33 years. I have a grandson 4 months (daughter’s son)
    I have gone through lot of your videos on YouTube .
    My daughter has recently walked out of her Colombian husband, who was subjecting her to emotional abuse .
    A lot of what has been written about Narcissism and Narcissists seems to apply to my son-in-law.
    I have sent some of your YouTube links to my daughter , as she is just started recovering from the Emotional Abuse inflicted upon her .
    She is now in Perth, Australia, and trying to come to some “Parenting Arrangements” through “Mediator Agency”, and protect her son (my grandson) from any “ill effects” on the infant .
    I would love advise or links which I could use and share with my daughter ; she is already under stress and also consulting a Therapist for her own healing from the abuse !
    Thanks for your tremendous effort in putting together the 31 Red Flags of Narcissist.
    Warm regards ,
    Sincerely,
    Chandran

  4. Hi Chandran,
    Thank you for writing. I am so sorry that your daughter has gone through so much with this man, and I am relieved for her and her children that they were able to get away from him.

    I would encourage her to keep learning about emotional abuse, and to consider joining a support group if she thinks that would help (they often do). As for what you can do to help, continue to let her know that you love and support her, that this is not her fault, and that she is being a good mother by trying to limit the ill effects of this man on their life. You might also want to ask her what you can do to help, and see what she says.

    I admire your love and dedication to helping your daughter through this rough time. I wish your family all the health and healing possible. <3

  5. Thank you for writing, and for sharing part of your story. I’m really glad that my info is helping–it’s messages like yours that keep me going. <3

    I'm glad that you were finally able to see him for what he is, and able to stop any further damage. And like you said, even attractive, independent, successful, well-educated people fall for these con artists, because they are just that good. Normal, decent people don't even see them coming, and we all too often gloss over red flags because it's hard to imagine that people like them not only exist, but would surface in our own lives.

    I sincerely hope that you are able to rebuild both your life and your self-esteen to an even better place than before. ...That's the upside of having your life blown to pieces--you get to choose the pieces you want to rebuild with. (((hugs))) to you.

  6. Thanks Dana !
    One correction, this is my daughter’s first baby after a late marriage ; although the courtship lasted 4 years, the man did not disclose he was already married and separated from her first wife , until it was too late ! The “rage’ and temper tantrums started after she got pregnant, and engaged ! It became worse and noticeable by my daughter after the arrival of the baby ! She read up on Emotional Abuse, and I too started doing the same from India ! Those sites led me to Narcisstic abuse and your site !
    Now me and my wife are trying to get her to heal herself emotionally, while trying to bring up the 4 month old on her own in a foreign country ! Fortunately , by God’s Grace she is financially independent !
    I would like to hear or get more links on healing after break-up of a young mother with her Narcisstic husband . Also how do such people view little babies , as he insists on “parenting ” time 3 days a week . Fortunately he is a FIFO worker, and currently the visits are on alternate weeks ; Unfortunately, the principle of “No Contact” after Break-Up will not work in this case, and healing would be patchy !!
    Thanks for your patient reading !
    God Bless your work and all ladies in similar situations as my daughter !!
    Love !!

  7. I’m so glad that you are finding my info so helpful. That really makes my heart smile. I’m also really happy for you that you are getting the clarity and closure you need, and can now focus on your health and healing. Yay you. <3

  8. Hello again 🙂

    Here is a link to my page on healing: http://www.thriveafterabuse.com/category/healing-after-a-narcissistic-relationship/ I think you will find a lot of information in there that will hopefully help your daughter.

    Support groups and a good therapist trained in emotional abuse can also really help a person to move forward. If she’s open to joining a support group, and if she is on Facebook, I can add her to mine (she’d need to email me her email address so I can add her, as the group is now “secret”–and that’s the only way she’ll be able to find us.) I am putting a support forum here on this site in (hopefully) the near future.

    (((hugs))) to you both.

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