Do I Belong Here?
This website is designed to help give clarity, validation, and healing to those who have been in an exhausting, controlling, toxic, or “crazy-making” dynamic for any length of time. If you feel confused about what happened, or is happening, and uncertain if this person was the best thing to happen to you or the worst thing to happen to you, regardless if this person is a significant other, a parent, a relative, a friend, or a co-worker, then this is website is for you.
You Belong Here If...
You Feel Addicted to Somone
You may find yourself wondering how you got into a relationship like this in the first place, why you feel so “addicted” to them, or why no one understands or can support you. You may have stopped telling friends and family about what goes on during the bad times because they are horrified—but in your mind, this is normal for your relationship—and because you didn’t want to leave but didn’t want to be lectured either, you quit reaching out. I
Your Relationship Recently Ended
If your relationship recently ended, you may feel incredibly lonely, ground down, enraged, overwhelmed, scared, anxious, depressed, numb, and overall physically and emotionally exhausted—like you are one hundred years old or a shell of your former self.
And if you have gone back, you might have found yourself “forgetting” or glossing over much of their bad behavior and instead of holding onto the fond memories of all the good times—and it’s those good times that pull you back into contacting them again—hoping that maybe this time things really will be different. But no matter what they promise, they never seem to change for good. If anything, their behavior gets worse, or they get better at hiding what they’ve been up to. When their double life comes to the surface, you are blamed for all of their lying, cheating, controlling, manipulating, or abuse that follows.
You Question if You are Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse
Perhaps after going through this cycle a few times, you decided to turn to the internet in hopes of making sense of what you were experiencing. Odds are you came across some videos on YouTube on narcissism or narcissistic abuse, and things began to make sense. Still, you aren’t sure if the person is a narcissist - especially if they seem likable, friendly, humble, charitable, or apologetic - or if what you experienced is narcissistic abuse, especially if you were never called names, yelled at, or abused in any outright way.
If they left you, you might wonder if you’ll ever trust people, let alone love again, especially if they moved on at lightning speed and seem so happy with their new partner while you are left to sort through all the emotional (and usually financial) devastation they left behind—including all their lies and acting as if they are a victim of you. It’s even worse if people, including your friends, family, and children, believe them because, after all, they come across as so sympathetic and convincing while you come across as an anxious, angry, confused mess.
All of this confusion, all of these emotions are very normal, and I hope that from the resources on this site and through my books, and the courses of how to overcome narcissistic abuse I offer, you will have a lot more clarity about your situation and the steps to take to become your most authentic self.
Odds are, if you are like most of us who have gone through this journey of understanding and healing, you will continue to have questions. At times you might feel as if you’ve entered the movie “The Matrix,” where you are starting to see the world around you and the people in it clearly—perhaps for the first time. We are here to support you along your journey.