Six Types of Narcissists
People are fascinated by the concept of narcissism. Probably because we all are one to an extent, or we know someone who is. Before labeling someone as a narcissist, take a look at the six types of narcissists. While there is no specific diagnosis for the subtypes of narcissism, people can be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Narcissism is perhaps best understood as a trait that is on a continuum, ranging from healthy to deeply problematic. Yes, there is such a thing as healthy narcissism. Healthy narcissism is feeling proud of accomplishments and having the energy and desire to set and achieve goals. A person with a healthy degree of narcissism believes in their self-worth and their ability to effect changes in their lives. Their feelings are in line with reality and considered normal behavior.
When narcissism takes a different course and becomes unhealthy, this type of narcissism tends to surface in one or more of the following ways.
They are usually incredibly persuasive, intelligent, quick-witted, and able to shift between logic, logical fallacies, lies, name-calling, and anger to knock their opponent off-balance and make their point. They often have advanced degrees or high levels of success or claim so. Those who see through them come across as pretentious, grandiose, and exhausting. They rarely like to associate with anyone below their (perceived or even fabricated) intellect, educational, or financial level. When they do so, it’s generally to engage them in some argument so that they can win.
What can be so crazy-making is these narcissists continually shift their argument. They use a series of logical fallacies, reductionist arguments, lies, half-truths, word salad, and semantic ploys to frustrate the other person until that person becomes exhausted or explodes in anger. At this point, the narcissist will declare that the other person is too unreasonable, illogical, or overly emotional. It’s like the saying goes, arguing with a narcissist is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, the pigeon will knock over all the pieces, poop on the board, and act victorious.
When a vulnerable narcissist's wounding is visible, it can pull at a person's heartstrings. The target may watch with amazement as the narcissist emotionally transforms into a small child. They may cry, stay in bed, fall into a depression, or need a seemingly large amount of reassurance that they are okay or did a good job. A vulnerable narcissist's target may have difficulty distancing themselves from a person like this because they know how hard they take rejection. They may also think that because narcissists can be emotionally wounded, they can also be empathetic and remorseful. After all, these narcissists feel emotional pain, so you'd think that they'd be able to relate to the pain in others sincerely. As soon as they've had enough time to lick their wounds, they are back to their old selfish, insensitive and hurtful, self-absorbed, and entitled ways. Because vulnerable narcissists tend to need reassurance and approval, they also have a hard time being alone. Their partner may have a hard time leaving a vulnerable narcissist because, even despite the abuse they've gone through, they know how fragile the vulnerable narcissist is and how hard they will take the breakup. They may go back if the narcissist threatens to commit suicide or contacts them with repeated pleas for help, or begs them not to go.