If you have ever been in a narcissistic relationship of any kind, you more than likely have experienced one of these top ten emotions people feel from a narcissistically abusive relationship. In fact, if you haven't experienced these feelings during a relationship with a narcissist, I would be very surprised.
All ten of these feelings you may feel while involved with a narcissist are very normal...
1. Confused or Disoriented
Because our relationship moved really fast—like whirlwind romance—but deep down we had the feeling that something was “off” yet couldn’t place it
Because they told us they loved us so soon into our relationship, and it seemed odd that someone their age would be so immature about love
Because they seemed so certain we were the one for them…but they hardly knew us
Because we’d see flashes of behavior like anger, rage, extreme jealousy and, at first, it seemed really out of character for them
Because the abusive person might be very charming, witty, intelligent, and come across like Prince (or Princess)Charming when they are not being abusive
Because the abusive person seems to have a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality that flips on a dime
Because their promises to quit lying, cheating, stealing, manipulating, or abusing seem so convincing, but they never last for long
Because we are uncertain as to who has the problem: them or us?
Because we can’t tell if our relationship is going through the normal highs and lows of a relationship, or if it is indeed problematic
Because they might be a different person around other people, and no one else seems to see their problematic behavior
Because we are continually being told that we are somehow the problem—that we are too sensitive, too emotional, can’t take a joke, etc.
Because we are blamed for them abusing us—that our behavior pushes them over the edge
Because they would spin conversations and arguments and somehow the conversation would go way off topic and we’d find ourselves apologizing for things just to get our relationship back on track
Because they always had an excuse, and nothing was ever their fault
Because they told us that we were crazy, irrational, illogical, abusive, manipulative, and problematic—when in fact they were the ones acting this way
Because we knew our relationship had issues, but we kept telling ourselves that the person being abusive would or could change
Because they accused us of doing things we weren’t doing, and we spent a lot of time trying to prove our love and loyalty to them (only to later find out they were doing exactly what they accused us of!)
Because we couldn’t figure out how things could go from being so great to so awful, so quickly, for no apparent reason
Because when we fought, there was never any resolution—it was only silent treatment, them leaving, or us apologizing for bringing up their problematic behavior
Because we don’t know why we feel so addicted to them, and can’t let them go, or keep wanting to go back.
Because we were so excited to finally meet our soul mate, that we wanted to spend every waking moment with them, or talking to them, and quickly making them our whole world
Because we thought that their continual texting, calling, Skyping—wanting to be in constant connection with us—was love when really it was a form of controlling behavior
Because, over time, they didn’t like our friends and family, and wanted us to spend time with just them
Because if we did reach out, no one seemed to understand
Because friends and family grew tired of hearing about us talking about the same issues but never leaving (because we held onto hope that things would change)
Because we didn’t understand what was wrong with our relationship, or who had the problem, so we quit talking about our issues; then we quit talking to other people altogether about anything because all we had were issues going on in our life
Because it was too painful to hear about how happy other people were in their relationships
Because they insisted we quit our jobs, drop out of school, or otherwise stay home
Because they drained the accounts, or we didn’t have access to our accounts, and couldn’t afford to leave
Because we didn’t know how we would be able to manage being a single parent
Because they insisted we work while they stayed at home, so we never got out to see friends or have a life apart from work and our relationship
Because they insisted we move to a new city, state, or country to be with them and we didn’t know anyone there
Because when the relationship ended, no one believed us about how bad things were at times
Because when the relationship ended, we were embarrassed and ashamed that we didn’t get out sooner
Because when the relationship ended, we didn’t trust anyone and just wanted to be alone